helpful tips
March 30, 2020
In lockdown with your partner? Here’s how healthy couples survive
By Julie Gottman (Condensed from The Washington Post)
As psychologists, psychotherapists and academic researchers, my husband John and I have studied and treated distressed couples for nearly five decades. By analyzing partners’ conversations, emotions and physiology second by second, here is what we’ve learned:
Successful couples — those who remain happily together for decades — live by consistent guidelines. They look for what their partner is doing right, not what they’re doing wrong, and they say “thank you” a dozen times a day, even for something as simple as making the wake-up coffee for the umpteenth time. They look for beauty and positive traits in their partner and lovingly call them out. They work hard to ban criticism and contempt from their vocabulary — they almost never call each other nasty names or roll their eyes and scoff; instead, they express what they do need, rather than what they resent. As listeners, they first ask questions to plumb the depths of their partner’s needs before responding — questions such as “Why is this so important to you?” or “Is there some background or childhood history behind this?” They create fair
compromises: each partner first identifying those closely held values and dreams that they cannot negotiate, then together finding ways to concede in areas where there is some give. Last but not least, they cuddle and touch each other often — with affection, not just eroticism.
These habits of communication prevent poisons like criticism, contempt and violence from toxifying the air a couple breathes. They create warmth, safety and nourishment instead, so partners can relax and grow individually and together.
In the 1990s, another relationship researcher, Neil S. Jacobson, analyzed his own interventions for helping distressed couples. He learned that most of the couples he treated relapsed in no time, except for one strange group that didn’t. These couples maintained a practice different from what he taught them.
Every night they had a “stress-reducing conversation,” in which each partner downloaded the highlights and lowlights of their day and shared their external worries, the ones emanating from outside the marriage. Contrary to the norm, listening partners didn’t try to solve anything. They simply asked for more detail, especially about the speaker’s emotions, while listening and
nodding empathetically. These couples remained happier in the long term. We integrated Jacobson’s work into our own and found his findings valid.
Guy Bodenmann, a Swiss researcher, cultivated “coping-oriented couples therapy,” a different style of marital counseling that emphasized couples talking together to reduce their stress. It worked beautifully — and no wonder. Biologically, we humans are pack animals. We depend on each other the way wolves and primates do. Bodenmann’s and Jacobson’s work — along with our own — suggests that couples need each other intensely, especially during times of stress. They don’t need help from their partner to solve their own problems. They each need help to feel less alone.
So why do we still think there is such a thing as “too needy” or that solo self-reliance is the ideal? These ideas are nonsense. In the face of this new pathogen, we need each other more than ever — especially that person we live with. Let’s cultivate a little more kindness between us.
March 27, 2020
Class is online. Homework is online. Their friends are online. Are you concerned about too much screen time and social media for your students? If so, you're not alone.
March 25, 2020
Are you ready for some new game ideas? If so, you might like this article from Fatherly:
The Best Indoor Games for Quarantined Kids and Families
Help SLO Network
HelpSLO is a network of volunteers across the Central Coast who have teamed up through the HelpSLO Facebook group. The purpose is to provide help to people who are most at risk in our communities. Find a group in your area.
food and prescriptions for self-isolating residents
The County of San Luis Obispo is initiating a program to procure food and prescription medication for self-isolating seniors (65+) and individuals with chronic medical conditions who do not have access to other means of procurement (e.g. family, friends, neighbors, caregivers, or other community organizations).
COVID-19 testing sites in slo county
If you have fever, cough, and shortness of breath, please call your physician or nearest urgent care or health clinic to determine if you need to be tested for COVID-19. The medical professional will determine if you need to be tested.
Several medical providers in and around San Luis Obispo County are able to collect specimens to test for COVID-19. However, lines can be long and equipment to protect staff is in short supply. Currently, tests are only administered to those who have been screened for symptoms. Please call ahead if you believe you may have coronavirus.
Med Stop Urgent Care 283 - Madonna Rd, San Luis Obispo, 805-549-8880
Family & Industrial Medical Center - 47 Santa Rosa St, San Luis Obispo, 805-542-9596
Dignity Health Urgent Care Pismo Beach - 877 N Oak Park Blvd, Pismo Beach, 805-474-8450
Dignity Health Urgent Care Atascadero - 5920 W Mall, Atascadero, 805-461-2131
Medworks Medical Centers - 350 Posada Ln, Templeton, 805-434-3699
Dignity Health Urgent Care Central Coast - 2271 D Depot St, Santa Maria
Dignity Health Urgent Care Central Orcutt - 1102 E Clark Ave Ste 120A Santa Maria, 805-332-8185
Central Coast Family Care Medical Associates of Santa Maria - 821 E Chapel St, Santa Maria, 805-925-5334
Central Coast Family Care Medical Associates of Santa Maria - 220 S Palisades Dr, Santa Maria, 805-925-2521
Central Coast Family Care Medical Associates of Santa Maria - 1505 S Shepard Dr, Santa Maria, 805-928-2645
Primary Care Partners SLO - 84 Santa Rosa St, San Luis Obispo, 805-591-4727
Dr. Reynaldo Cordero - 350 Posada Ln #202, Templeton, 805-434-3699
Urgent Care of Atascadero - 9700 El Camino Real #100, Atascadero, 805-466-1330
Urgent Care of Pismo Beach - 2 James Way suite 214, Pismo Beach, 805-295-6594
Urgent Care of Morro Bay - 783 Quintana Rd, Morro Bay, 805-771-0108
March 20, 2020
helping others
If you or someone you know needs help, please email Monica at slochurchoffice@gmail.com. We will do our best to help. We are able to pick-up and deliver groceries, medication, urgent supplies, and mail. We are also available to call those who need a friendly conversation.
The Coronavirus is contagious and we will take every precaution to ensure that the only thing we spread is love and kindness. As such, we will be avoiding physical contact and all items will be left on your doorstep. We are praying you stay healthy!
March 17, 2020
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE: CENTRAL CALIFORNIA CONFERENCE
Contact: Ron Rasmussen
Executive Secretary
Central California Conference of Seventh-day Adventists
rrasmussen@cccsda.org | Phone: 559-347-3194
CLOVIS, CALIF.,—March 17, 2020, The Central California Conference of Seventh-day Adventists (CCC), through its Officers Council, is directing and requiring that:
(1) All CCC churches (including companies and church plants) cease all gatherings for church-related events at church locations during March 19– April 12, 2020; and
(2) All CCC K-12 schools cease all gatherings for school-related events at school locations during March 19 - April 12, 2020. There will be no on-campus instruction. However, academic instruction will still continue during this time (with the exception of the regular spring vacation) via schoolwork assignments that will be given in advance via hardcopy learning packets and/or electronic delivery.
As for our preschools, they will each follow the directions of the state, and of our county, Conference Education Department.
As we face the challenges of the global Coronavirus (COVID-19) pandemic, the above actions have been made with much consideration for the health and safety of our members, students and families, and the people of the communities in which we live and serve. We will continue to monitor the status and information from the various agencies.
We will keep you posted as to further developments. Information as to CCC online worship services and online giving will be made available.
Thank you for your prayers and support as we move closer to the soon return of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.
March 16, 2020
Dear SLO Adventist Church Family,
It seems the news about coronavirus—in particular our optimal response to it—is accelerating rapidly. The CDC just issued a recommendation that groups of more than 10 cease meeting for the time being. In addition, the first two cases of COVID-19 in San Luis Obispo County were confirmed this weekend.
Here are two of the clearest presentations I’ve seen on what is happening:
When a danger is growing exponentially, everything looks fine until it doesn’t - The Washington Post
In light of these and other developments, we are suspending Sabbath school classes, church services, board meeting, potluck, and film night for a minimum of the next two weeks.
We will send out selected worship options for these Sabbaths, and I will stay in touch with you digitally. Then on Tuesday, March 31, we will review the current virus conditions and confirm how best to go forward.
Until that time, the responsible path is to follow CDC recommendations. We are doing so.
Now, toward a redemptive course: During my sermon I mentioned that crises often create opportunities. In the present crisis, one way our faith community may fairly easily help our community is to venture out to make safe deliveries to people, including friends and neighbors, who are unable to leave their homes.
If you qualify as a youngish, healthy, mobile person who would like to make such deliveries, please contact Monica Yeo at slochurchoffice@gmail.com
If you could use a person to make deliveries to you at this time, or know of someone who could use such help, please also contact Monica at slochuroffice@gmail.com
Our mission remains: Becoming the presence of Christ in our community. Thank you for representing Him and for being you.
With God’s love,
Pastor Chris
(402) 309-5989
March 13, 2020
Dear Church Family,
Unless you’ve been hiding under Morro Rock you’ve heard of it. Coronavirus. COVID-19. Now officially a global pandemic, according to the World Health Organization.
Rallies and leagues and conferences and classes and flights and camp meetings cancelled. Entire countries quarantined. Cases mounting. Stocks plummeting. Social distances lengthening. Boxes of sanitizers emptying. Researchers scrambling. Political and medical fingers pointing.
Breathe . . . in . . . out . . . in . . . out . . .
“Let not your hearts be troubled,” says the Prince of Peace. “Do not be afraid, for I am with you always.”
Our approach at SLO Adventist Church in this time is to stay true to God, to do our balanced best in guarding the health of our most vulnerable, and to heed the advice of medical and government authorities in our region.
We still honor timeless values. Preparation, not panic. Love, not fear. Clear-eyed discernment and courage, not foolish rumors. And our purpose remains: Becoming the presence of Christ in our community.
As we closely monitor the crisis, below are some helpful tips we can all follow. Please look them over. For this week at least, we will be holding services while carefully observing these health guidelines.
With God’s love,
Pastor Chris
SLO Adventist Church COVID 19 Guidelines
(Recommended CDC Measures)
Stop the Spread of Germs:
Clean hands often with an alcohol-based hand sanitizer that contains at least 60-95% alcohol, or wash hands with soap and water for at least 20 seconds. Soap and water should be used preferentially if hands are visibly.
Cover your mouth and nose with a tissue when you cough or sneeze.
Put your used tissue in a waste basket.
If you don’t have a tissue, cough or sneeze into your upper sleeve, not your hands.
Encourage sick members and guests to stay home:
Members and Guests who have symptoms of acute respiratory illness are recommended to stay home until they are free of fever (100.4° F [37.8° C] or greater using an oral thermometer), signs of a fever, and any other symptoms for at least 24 hours, without the use of fever-reducing or other symptom-altering medicines (e.g. cough suppressants).
Starting at age 60, there is an increasing risk of disease and the risk increases with age. The highest risk of serious illness and death is in people older than 80 years. People with serious underlying health conditions also are more likely to
develop serious outcomes including death.
Perform routine environmental cleaning:
Routinely clean all frequently touched surfaces in the workplace, such as workstations, countertops, and doorknobs. Use the cleaning agents that are usually used in these areas and follow the directions on the label.
No additional disinfection beyond routine cleaning is recommended at this time.
Provide disposable wipes so that commonly used surfaces (for example, doorknobs, keyboards, remote controls, desks) can be wiped down by employees before each use.
(From The New York Times) Here’s what you can do: